He’s completly stressed out work wise and doesn’t care about his health or exercise. He already has a congential heart defect that was corrected via surgery before he was a year old. He’s put on so much weight in the past 2 years or so and even wheezes if he walks too fast or tries to carry something heavy (our daughter for example). He says annually, before his cardiologist appointment, that his doctor is going to “kick his ***”, so he tries to cut back on eating and wants to take walks and such about 2 – 3 months before his annual appointment. Other than that, he just works and warms the couch on the weekends. He does play with our daughter at home on the weekends, but it’s difficult to get him to go out and do anything if it’s not previously planned. We had memberships to the gym of which was a waste of money as he could never get motivated to get there. I cook only what I think he’ll eat and then catch him in the ice cream or chips later. He, too, will say that he’ll go and get the milk only to come back about 20 minutes later having frosting on his breath from doughnuts or grabbing a burger at McDonald’s. Our daughter is only four. How can I get him serious about his health besides cooking only what we’ll eat, buying sugar-free or baked snacks, and trying to get him off the couch. We live in an apartment so buying a treadmill won’t work due to space and there’s no outside upkeep here to keep him in shape. Please HELP!





















Ask him does he prefer that his daughter grow up without her father?
i am not making a joke answer, seriously leave america when i was there i noticed that all of the food was processed, that’s the problem of he doesn’t sort it out its diabetes, and btw all american men at 45 go really fat cause of the food.
You can’t. He has to reach that conclusion. You can’t change people, you can only suggest. My husband once tried to get me to lose weight. I put more on. When I left his nagging, I became slim. It was my decision.
He needs to want to do it for himself no one can make him except himself.You might want to remind him that you would like him to be around for your daughter. ( Maybe even a walk down the isle when its time.)
it just may be that he is what he is…but, you love him, and b/c thats good. just make sure he has a good life insurance policy. and remind him of the life insurance policy often, THAT dear will motivate him, i assure you…..
Im not trying 2 b funny or anything, but sex burns allot of calories
I think you need to have a serious talk with him. You cant do much. Even if you TRY and cook him healthy meals, buy healthy food etc.. He can go out and sneak a burger, ice cream etc.
You need to let him know “Listen, Im not asking you to do this for me only but MOSTLY for our daughter. Dont you want to be there for her first days of HS, prom, college, marriage, and grandkids??”
Im not saying dont help him eat healthy. You should. Maybe cook him healthy foods during the week and when he has an urge.. Make him a sugar free dessert or something like fat free cool whip and some fruit.
For excersize, have him take walks with your daughter. Take her to the park. Go swimming at a friends pool. Walk to the corner store, instead of driving. Go for hikes.
Let him know that he needs to change his attitude with eating or he will die. Im not trying to make you upset – you just need to let him know the true outcome.
I think your husband is in denial about his health.
People who are denial about their health will give in to guilt eating (like he seems to be doing) and only care when someone is going to “judge” him.
You need to stop being the ‘victim’ wife and start being the ’strong’ wife. Its enough of being a by stander while your husband eats himself to death. Sometimes, you need to be tough to someone when you love them.
You might not want to hear it, but you are contributing to his health downfall!
First of all, you need to sit him down and tell him you are worried about his health, and that at the rate he is going, he’s not going to live long enough to see his daughter graduate.
That’s right. It might hit hard, but does he love his daughter and yourself enough to put that doughnut away?
You need to tell him you don’t want your daughter to be an orphan, and how much he means to you.
Have an honest, non-judgemental heart to heart chat with him as a wife.
Tell him its not only the weight. Its the stress which is also going to kill him. Work isn’t more important than health! If its going to save him those extra years to see his daughter graduate and marry – will he cut off an extra day of work or work between more reasonable hours?
Better still, quit his job and find one which isn’t as taxing.
Some people don’t quit their jobs because they worry about whether they will be able to upkeep their standard of living. But living a little more humbly is a small price to pay for a happier family.
Ask yourself if this is more important, or that big 8 burner bbq to show off to relatives 2 times a year.
Another factor to take note is that overweight parents are more likely to have children who are not only grossly overweight or anorexic, they have difficulties being normal young adults and interact with the rest of the world.
Imagine what that would do for a child’s future and personal development.
Try taking him to a hospital or clinic to get a full body check up and health reading. Let the doctor sit him down and tell him in detail about every single thing he is doing to his body and the effects of it.
Try to work up a plan.
Encourage him to exercise not by nagging him, but by taking him out for nice walks. Get into a hobby sport. Go nature trail hiking, or a competitive sport to get his male instincts firing.
If you’re overweight as well, why not join him to lose weight?
Gyms are overrated. They are boring. Its the epitome of laziness. Unless you’re a city slicker with no access to a park – what’s stopping you from walking around the surrounding greenery or getting to the beach to play volleyball?
Gyms encourage laziness because it feeds on people’s need for convenience. And what’s causing us to get fat in the U.S? Convenience. Convenience food, convenience cars, convenience services. No one is willing to get off their bums to do even the smallest and simplest of things.
As for chips and ice cream. Why are you buying these and keeping them in the house?
Go to your pantry and throw away all the junk food. If you’re a homemaker, there’s just no excuse you can give (”kids need junk food”, blah blah) because junk food isn’t bad just for adults, its bad for kids as well!
Snacks can be celery and carrot sticks in a hummus or yoghurt sauce. It can be home made baked banana chips and even potato chips – no oil used, just a light spray of cooking spray.
You can keep some healthy oatmeal cookies in a jar for him to have when he finishes dinner.
You too have to stop junk food for yourself and your daughter. Show him you’re in it TOGETHER.
And what’s this I read about “buying” sugar-free and baked snacks? BAKE THEM YOURSELF! Why not bake together with him?
Do you know how fattening these so called “sugar free” and “baked snacks” are?
They are laden with oil and salt, grease and preservatives! Do you think they really care about your health? Or profit margins? They only sell what profits! If its fad diet foods – they’ll sell you anything that tastes good with the label “diet” or “fat-free” on it!
If you buy yoghurt, buy plain, unsweetened yoghurt. Sweeten it yourself, so you can control the amount of sugar that goes into the yoghurt, thus reducing calories. Better still, instead of sweetening it with sugar or artificial stuff, add fresh blueberries, cranberries, raspberries.
Even saving 100 calories a day works out to 700 a week, 2400 a month!
Imagine how he feels when you’re snorting down chips and he’s picking yoghurt off with his celery stick. How does that help to motivate him?
You can start packing lunches for him. Healthy lunches. Show him you care by doing what you do best.
When cooking meals for him – make some healthy meals – more meat, less carbs. Lots of veggies are great.
You can try different cuisines and not the fatty 3 types of potatoes dinners which can give the average person a heart attack on the spot.
Use less oil. Try olive oil in small doses.
Try to have more family activities. If you have cable – get rid of it! Or try to designate more ‘family time’ and less tv time.
When he goes out to ‘get the milk’, accompany him!
What’s making you stay home to wait?
Make sure you shop weekly instead of intersparsely throughout the week.
That reduces his ‘milk runs’.
Plan your meals!
Meal planning is one of the best ways to lose weight and save money!
Lose weight together with him, and surprise him with sexy lingerie at the end of each weight goal!
Give him a reason to see that losing weight is something he wants to do!
What more than being the ’sexy’ wife?
If he never has the energy to make love, why not give him a reason to want to?
The key is not ‘losing weight’. Its having a fit and healthy lifestyle for the whole family.
You don’t say whether for the most part he’s happy. Guys are usually pretty happy when the kids are small. They’re stressed with all the empire-building they’re doing but most often find home life extremely rewarding. What’s better than a little kid who comes running into your arms at the end of the day and afterward being regaled by helpmeet turtle dove on tiny’s antics that day?!
Ultimately, he’s a grown-up and quite capable of making his own decisions.
Frankly, too, there’s some question about all the media attention devoted to obesity. A very smart Colorado law professor investigated the purported link between obesity and ill health and found the actual science sorely lacking. See http://www.bcdisabilities.com/bcdisforum… for more about Paul Campos’ book, The Obesity Myth. The real issue is apparently lack of exercise. There is good science to support the proposition that a good regimen leads to improved health.
About the apartment space issue: Our whole family LUVS! our Lifecycle elliptical trainer. Each member works his own program to his own music at his own level of difficulty. Why not toss out stuff to make room for one? We used to have ours in the middle of the living room. It was great. Lose whatever decorating rules may be limiting your scope here.
At the end of the day, of course, it’s up to spouse. Just keep letting him know how much you love him and how much you want to make sure he’s with you for a long time on the journey. Positive reinforcement is so much better than dissolving into his mom. Neither of you wants this! Ugh!
He has to want to do it.
How can you make him want to do it?
If you didn’t have the child, I would tell you to sell the tv and throw out all the snacks (and I wouldn’t be kidding), but you have a 4 year old daughter and you need those things for her.
Try to find a way to make it pleasurable for him. Tell him you want to go for a walk together, and take the daughter in the stroller. It’s easier to do this time of year.
When he gets home and wants a snack, distract him with a non-fattening snack, then get in some serious 1-on-1 personal training together.
Well, if you can learn to love daily sex you can get that man in shape in no time!
well u can try to motivate him like walk with him or tell him u need him around for the next 70 yrs and dont call him fat tell him ur concerned about his heart because he is eating unhealthy…to help u go get the milk buy only what u think yall should be eating…..and tell him why dont be sneaky about it just let him know what u think..by the way he is doing crash diets before he goes to the dr…really bad for his heart way bad…doing that alone is going to hurt him…i wish u luck and u can try but people are hard to change but it can be done..dont give up u let him know u need him for the next so on years and u wont drop it or leave alone because u love him just that much…
Get the 4 year old in a stroller, head out to go see how many birds she can see during one fast stroll around the block.
That is what I do with my 12 year old YORKIE. He loves it and so do I we are addicted to hunting for birds along the way.
I also take the camera now, and cup of Coffee and Ice water for the dog.
We hate it when the weather is too hot, or raining.
We take the radio, not anything with an ear phone, so we can all hear the music at one time.
We listen to the local little christian station, and have started singing along with the songs we know them all by now.
It is so much fun!
We pack the bottom of the stroller with wet wipey clothes and extra water.
It is so much fun.
Sometimes we drive to the local nature trail, take the stroller along in the back of the Jeep to put the Yorkie in.
We do stop at McDonalds for large water with no ice to sit in the cup holder for the dog, and a large orange JUICE to drink along the way.
McDonalds has great orange Juice, they also have an orange soda drink so check it before you leave to see it is juice and not the soda they mix it up often
A little fruit and nut salad from McDonalds is good to eat along the trail too.
Lots of napkins!
God bless you guys!@
Have him go for walks, more often, not just because he doesn’t want to be @$$ kicked by a docter! He is a person that probably just is weak….. mAYBE GET THE CHILD TO PLAY WITH HIM MORE. yOU CAN ALSO CHECK OUT THE THINGS LIKE ON TV, Weight watchers….etc…. Go to your local store, you can get stuff that he LOVES like brownies or something but still if its from smart diet or something it wont have as much calories but still be just as good!
Don’t let him go to mcdonlads and all that crap.
have him stay home til he drops a lil. Like i said, have him eat healthy stuff and to try new things. Do not let him make u , cook only what he likes. As in no-healthy stuff. Just go for it!
GOOOOOOD LUCK!